Tell me about this song i written?

The song that i had written is about heaven,death,life,and rock.Please tell me if u like this song or not.The song goes something like this.As the preacher began to preach,as i my heart began to sink,as my love for you gal will never go,never go nor never leave,for you to be set free,free from our world,free from our pride,free from everything that cause us all to strife.This is just part of the song but i hope ya think this is great because i work my *** off writing this song but please tell me if u like it or nor.P.S. this is just part of song.