My husband is diabetic and wont take care of himself?

My husband is diabetic but refuses to take care of himself, he does take insulin when he feels like it, I can tell when his sugar is high because he gets hateful and blames everyone else till were in tears but its always us and never him...his sugar has been running between 350- 400 plus. I told him today his sugar was high cause of his hatefulness he finally took it 3 hrs later of hell for my daughter and I and it was 357. Late this evening he started throwing up and diahrea about 30 min. later I asked him how he was doing and he got hateful. I can't even talk to him anymore, I hate it when its time for him to come home from work anymore...I get where I hate cooking dinner, doing laundry, Ive been getting depressed due to his actions. I have also stopped smoking dec 1st of 2010, but he's not helping me any, he smokes at least 2 packs a day if not more, he smokes in the car, and restaurants, it's like he doesn't care about himself or us...he is suppose to take pills as well, but only when he feels like it and when we remind him he gets mad and says he doesn't need it and wont take it. he also has emphys.,copd, sleep aphnea, high colesteral, along with his diabetics etc. can I please get some advice I am desperate....we have been married 14 very long yrs...I do love him but I can't stand to be around him, I also home school my 13 yr old daughter and shes concern about his health. But I am getting to the point if he doesn't care why should I, this has been going on for at least 3 yrs, I know he's been diabetic longer than he's been diagnosed because I have lost my 2 older kids due to him and his hatefulness,and they are in their mid 20's. My first grandaughter is due in feb and my son has informed me that I will never be aloud to see her and I haven't talked to my oldest daughter in almost 5 yrs...I haven't cheated on my smoking but I am close to starting back up again...When my husbands blood sugar is normal he is just as sweet as he can be, but lately that isn't very often...help